There comes a time when we owe it to ourselves to take a step back and see how life is going for us.
Rather than just letting things happen TO us, if there are things we really value and desperately want to have in our lives (kids, our own business, a great relationship, etc.), we often have to MAKE things happen versus falsely believing they will automatically come our way.
I remember turning 30 and being very depressed that I wasn't married yet, while most of my friends had wed years before and some were even on their second husbands! When my 40th birthday rolled around, I realized that maybe marriage wasn't going to be an automatic thing like puberty.
Sometimes the cold hard truth is that we get stuck in life. No one gave us a handbook on how to live. We just assumed that if we did what people told us -- went to school, got a job, worked hard, got married, had a family -- we would live a long and happy life. But guess what? That's not always true.
A recent "2017 World Happiness Report" shows Americans are less happy than ever before. Yet while this report covers the surface issues like being dissatisfied with our country's politics, personal income, lack of community relationships, and such, I believe the issue goes much deeper. People are inherently unhappy because they just don't feel personally fulfilled. The hopes and dreams they had upon graduation from high school or college have somehow been forgotten. They got caught up in the drudgery of everyday life and somehow forgot all about the life they thought they were going to have.
How happy are you with your life and the way it has turned out so far? Let's take a closer look at these six signs you might be stuck:
1. You Feel Left Behind. If your friends or family members are getting married, having kids, moving to exciting new places, starting new jobs or new businesses, and you have this unwavering sense of being left out or left behind, then you there is clearly something missing from your life.
2. You Are Often Sad, Lonely, Depressed, or Hopeless. Do you cry a lot for no apparent reason? Are you lonely? Do you sleep all of the time and just don't have the energy or enthusiasm to do anything? Are you just plain miserable with the state of your life, relationship, job, etc.?
3. You Drink or Eat Too Much or Abuse Substances. Take a a good hard look at yourself. Do you crave cocktail hour or the weekend so you can go out and drink until you don't remember who you are or what your life is about? Are you taking painkillers or prescription drugs to dull the pain - either real or imagined?
4. You Promise Yourself You'll Do X Once You X. Do you avoid life? Do you not go out and dance or date because you feel like you are too fat? Do you say you'll travel once you have a boyfriend? You'll buy yourself some nice clothes once you lose weight -- and until then you are happy to just live in Yoga pants and eat cereal for dinner?
5. You Are Angry, Negative, And Hateful. Do you hate your job? Do you complain about everything in your life? Do you unleash anger on those around you for no good reason?
6. You Are Secretly Jealous. Is that green-eyed monster rearing its ugly head whenever you see a friend who just got engaged, found a fabulous new job, or is moving to a new city?
If you say "yes" to any of these signs, then you are probably stuck in your life. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you're not going to get unstuck by doing nothing.
Getting yourself unstuck is a slow process -- but the good news is that you have already taken the first step. You are aware of it. Now the question is, what are you going to do about it?
There are many ways to get yourself unstuck. Start out by talking to a close friend or confidant who you feel you can trust. If you aren't comfortable sharing these thoughts with anyone you know, perhaps you want to seek out therapy. If you have a problem with a substance, you might want to investigate doing some type of rehab.
After that, you need to start making a plan for what you are going to do next. Take some time to think about what it is you really want from your life. It's not something that will always come to you overnight. Finding out what will make you happy can often take some serious soul searching -- and that's what this website is all about. We'll offer up lots of options to figure out what will make YOU happy and get you unstuck.